I thought our story was epic

That makes it possible for all white boys to dance

Posted by Cory , Thursday, April 16, 2009 4:48 PM

I'm about to write a blog post about poop.

You've been warned.

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Let me take a moment to describe T (Not because half the people that read this blog don't already know him, but for the sake of the big picture. Bear with me. Okay? Okay): A 14-year-old boy. Appears to be about 6, thanks to his severe autism. Has decent fine motor skills, can walk and run EXTREMEMLY well (oy, the running). Can approximate 1-2 3 word sentences ("huppa, pease?"). Is NOT, repeat, is NOT toilet trained. Wears a pull-up and tends to pretty much just dribble all day long, making potty training quite the endeavor. FORGET about pooping on the potty. He poops pretty much daily, and lately it's come right before R gets there to take over with him, so who gets to clean his bottom? ME. It's no good, no good at all.

Most recently, the poop schedule has been after lunch, IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE PUTS ON A CLEAN PULL-UP. It is positively maddening. Every time, I would ask him why, WHY he couldn't just sit on the toilet and poop like the rest of us. Oh, right, autism. Anyway, yesterday I peeked in the bathroom during the post-lunch potty trip to make sure he wasn't dipping his shoes in the toilet. He looked at me, pointed to his bare bottom, and said "ow" (his standard indication for "hey, I just dropped a load in my pull-up and guess who gets to wipe my butt while I jump up and down and stim?!?!?!!111?"). Sighing, I walked to the cupboard and gathered gloves, wipes and a plastic bag, then directed him to the bar around the toilet so I could begin the process and ponder ending my life (I'm really not a fan of poop).

I happened to glance in the toilet.

Is that... HOLY CRAP, IT IS (see what I did there?).

THE CHILD POOPED. IN THE TOILET.

I freaked out. I practically threw the kid a parade right there in the bathroom. Oh, the high-fives that followed.

R walked in as he was washing his hands. I practically screamed the good news at her. She relayed the message to anyone who would listen. I walked home, texting anyone who would even remotely care (or just Mo and Sunshine).

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Okay, that story up there? NOT EVEN THE BEST PART OF THIS WHOLE POST.

Are you ready for it?

Are you sure?

HE POOPED IN THE TOILET AGAIN TODAY.

VOLUNTARILY.

I asked him this morning if he was going to sit on the toilet again when he had to poop, and he giggled and said yes.

It was rather precious.